When the Space Hotel’s a Rockin’…

Guest article by Greg Fish (blog: world of weird things)

You can’t go on vacation any more without your video camera, especially if you’re going some place spectacular and exciting. When the new wave of space tourists soars into orbit, they’re going to come back with some spectacular home movies. Some of them may be a lot steamier than others because there’s bound to be a couple just itching to be the first humans to have sex in space and capture it on high definition video to bolster their claim to fame. Yes, sex in space in inevitable and the moment people finally get a little privacy and a little room in which to play (something that’s missing on today’s space missions), it’s going to happen.

But before you rush to reinvent the Kama Sutra in 360 degree freedom, a few tips for you aspiring 60+ mile high club members…

In microgravity, the heart doesn’t pump blood as efficiently so gentlemen, you might have a few difficulties getting ready for the task. Oh and when she says she has a headache, she means it. In fact, both of you will. In a weightless environment, blood rushes to your head and without a fixed horizon, your sense of balance is thrown out of whack. It’s known as space sickness and for at least a few days you’ll be too dizzy, nauseated and sore to get busy. Oh and if you’ve never considered some light bondage, you might start thinking about it because you’re gonna have to be strapped in or tied to something so you’re not just flying across the cabin from the slightest touch.

And as fun and novel as bouncing around in an orbital hotel room might be though, it’s actually a precursor to something very important. What will start out as a fun little thing to do on a space vacation will become one of the key considerations for boldly going where only robots have been before.

When we go on to explore the Moon and Mars, building spacecraft that can rotate to simulate at least some gravity, expect sex in space to become not just easier and more comfortable for amorous astronauts but an essential part of long term missions. Spending years at a time without sex would drive an astronaut with a normal libido to the brink of insanity and we know that people with a sexually fulfilling life are much happier, healthier and more productive. The first explorers of alien worlds may have to be couples in committed relationships for the sake of everyone’s psyche and hormones. This way, rather than being denied natural urges and spending so much time away from loved ones, future explorers can share their experiences with those closest to them.

There’s more to it than that of course. Since relationships are messy on Earth, there’s no reason why they would stop being messy in a confined space around an alien world. In fact, things might even get messier than normal and distract crews from their missions. What if there’s some sort of drama or scandal? Or a nasty break-up? And what if a couple wants to have kids while still in space? Mission control would have to start doing family planning and if you’re a psychology student, there may be a new field to consider in the next ten to fifteen years. Astronaut couples’ therapy.